From childhood, we were taught to handle the most advanced technologies. Not to trust AI blindly. To work with countless pieces of information. To define our emotions. To respect the team. To master multitasking. No one told us that the best way to dry tears is to kiss them away, that the surest method to conquer fear is to live through it, that the only way to move forward is to set out on the journey. We learned to ask questions. We stopped understanding the answers. What I Thought About Last Night Before Falling Asleep Grandma was a Catholic. Grandpa’s been a nonbeliever his whole life. Mom swings between Hinduism and communism. Dad’s a ladies’ man. Géza collects jokes. And where’s my worldview in all this? What Crossed My Mind at Night When I Had to Use the Bathroom I’ll ask GURU* about my worldview. It knows everything about me. The depths of my complexes, the length of my penis. It saves every piece of data it needs to tell me what I think about the world. It’s definitely more qualified than I am. It’s got a cooler head. It won’t get sidetracked by absurd dreams. *Global Usable Robotic Unit Dream No. 1 (Before I Had to Go to the Bathroom) I dreamed I was a stork. I wandered across a huge muddy meadow, catching frogs. Every time I gripped one in my beak, it hit me who I was. I loved catching them. They tried to hop away or disappear under the water, but my long, skilled beak always found them, grabbed them, and carried them, still alive, down my throat. I washed each one down with water. It was an utterly thrilling game, and who knows how long I would’ve kept at it if my stomach hadn’t started hurting. That’s what I get for washing down all those frogs, I thought when I woke up.I stumbled through the dark to the bathroom, and only there, eeling the familiar chill of the tiles under my feet, did it fully hit me. I was Armin, a vegetarian, with some serious issues about my worldview. That’s when the idea of GURU popped into my head.